Monday Amusements 5

It is so hot today, it took a lot of effort to get myself to do any work. I kind of just wanted to lie on my bed reading the whole time, in close proximity to a fan. I keep reminding myself that it's not so bad, it's definitely hotter than last year, but nothing like Summers 2005 and 2006.

I've been learning:

How to make a burlesque bustle skirt. Just in case the days get longer and my need for sleep decreases and someone gives me a load of the right kind of fabric. Well, it could happen. I won't rule it out.

I've been contemplating the purchase of:

Every mini hat and fascinator sold by Accessorize. Don't go running to their website, the selection available online is severely limited. In stores, however...I was in there the other day looking for a new pair of sunglasses (I broke two pairs within the space of a fortnight just before it got bright enough for them to become really essential, sad times) and after I'd looked and was disappointed, I still had to wait for my sister to look at flip flops so I wandered over to check out the headwear. I tried most of them on and developed some serious crushes. My favourite features a mini black top hat with feathers and veil. Unfortunately I do not have a spare £20 that I absolutely cannot spend on anything else, so I had to put them all down and walk away.

I have been giggling at:

This poem on the subject of feminist pick-up lines. 'Your paradigm or mine?'

I agree with:

Everything in the article, The truth about writers. I can't explain how true it is or it would spoil the article for you.

And finally, kittens:

...on an exercise wheel.

How Not To Take A Daily Outfit Photo, or Why I Don't Post A Lot, or What I Wore, 17/6/2009

I cannot take decent photographs of myself.

I am not convinced that I am going to fail at this forever, but in order to improve I definitely need professional coaching, or a brain upgrade. It may be just one of the Things I Cannot Do, like running, crochet, and strumming a guitar properly with the right hand.

I have only actually posted about two daily outfits on this blog before. I actually take photos of what I'm wearing fairly often. With the intention of making a post about them here. I'm in a good mood, I'm excited about what I'm wearing, and I take various photos in various poses from too-close distances without cleaning the lens or any mirrors involved, in bad light (today's example, see below). Every time I make a new mistake! I can have cleaned the mirror, only to have forgotten the lens. I can have started out trying to take photos on the stairs, as they have the best light in the house, only to have moved into my parents bedroom when I can't get a decent full-length picture, where the light is much worse.

I have several problems, none of which can be solved by the various "How To Take Outfit Photos" posts out there in the blogosphere:

• The camera I use is really old. The batteries run out really quickly, so whenever I use it I am on a race against time. I also have to reset the self-timer for every photo, which eats into this time considerably.

• This camera has no tripod, so I have to balance on it on various surfaces.

• The other cameras are invariably either out or the batteries are low and I don't know where the chargers are.
  

• There is basically nowhere in my house to balance the camera from far enough away.

• I don't want to take pictures in my bedroom as it's a mess, but I don't think other people appreciate my taking photos all the time in their rooms. I usually take photos on the stairs. This is only good for closeups, and everytime I get a good looking one it involves far too much thigh than I am comfortable uploading!

• I am really pale and absolutely cannot use flash. It makes me look scary.

• There is no-one who will take photos of me for me.
  

In short, my outfit photos are crap. They will continue to be crap for the forseeable future. However, I would still like to talk about them, and I need to update this blog more. So I am going to try to bring myself to post what I can bear to (i.e. the photos where I look alright but the photo itself is dire), and as well as writing about the outfit, I will write about why the photos are bad and how you can avoid my innumerable failures!

Maybe, just maybe, I might improve. Maybe. Gigantic, huge, maybe.

What I Wore Today

I went to university for a couple of workshops (voice and creative writing), ate lunch number one (cheese and tomato sandwich) then I came home, made myself some soup for lunch number two (half a can of Heinz Minestrone + sweetcorn, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and mixed herbs) and watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, as research for my writing! I love that reading books and watching films and programmes about teenagers or with teenage characters counts as research for my writing and therefore my MA. If you know any good ones, recommend recommend recommend, in the comments of course.

To the left, an alright photo, parent's bedroom, you get the idea of the outfit. This is the stripy dress also pictured here, with a black skirt on top. Above, the bangles I wore. You can see them on the left of the other photo on my wrist too. Below, an image in profile, in which you can see the scarf, my watch, and the big ring I wore on the middle finger of my left hand.

Pictured:
Dress - Monsoon
Skirt - H&M via my sister's hand-me-ups
Tights - M&S, Autograph range
Scarf - hand-me-up from my sister that I think was original a gift from our parents, I have one in lilac
Bangles - some from The Changing World, some rescued from my sister's bin ages ago
Pictured but not visible on my rubbish photos:
A necklace that was a gift from a friend
Not pictured because I forgot about them:
Black cardigan, pink handbag, black ballet pumps

Why these photos are bad

Where to start? I'm spoilt for choice, really. They all came out too dark, so I had to turn up the brightness and contrast. My head is cut off in one and in profile in another, which is not a position in which I look good. The closeups are blurred - the bangles picture is one of the better ones. I thought flash would make them look too different from the body pics.

Things Learned From Today's Misadventures

Make sure you have good light! Charge your camera BEFORE you want to take photos, so that you manage to take them before the Earth moves you out of reach of enough sunlight.

Find a good surface to balance your camera on!

Use flash for close-ups if you have a shaky hand.

I may have to add "photographic ability and willingness to use it taking photos of me in outfits I like" to my list of desirable qualities in a potential romantic partner.

Some Posts I May Have To Memorise...and then feel sad because 70% of the advice I cannot follow

Take Better Outfit Photos @ Modlife

How To Take Gorgeous Self Portraits @ Independent Fashion Bloggers

Thank you for enduring this! If you have any thoughts on how I might overcome my outfit photo issues, please leave a comment, it will be much appreciated!

Three Good 'Beauty Tips' - and one that doesn't work

1. This lip scrub will make your lips look like you've been kissing someone for at least an hour. Leave out the cinnamon and they'll just be smooth, but don't go overboard with the salt or you'll make it too harsh. Also, olive oil tastes a whole lot better than Vaseline, but is runnier so harder to work with.

2. Base coat under dark nail varnish is a must, otherwise your nails will suffer. If you have no base coat, use one of those bland pastel shades that was a gift from someone who doesn't know you very well. All the real base coats I've tried have gone gloopy by the time I've gone through half the bottle. Granted, all the real base coats I've tried were from Rimmel, a fairly cheap brand who don't deign to put ball bearings in their bottles to help the mixture properly mix when you shake the bottle. I am currently using a bright sub-Barbie pink as my base coat, it is from Del Sol, a brand who don't put two of the bad-for-you chemicals nail varnish often contains into their product (toluene and formaldehyde), so I figured that although I hate the shade it would make good base coat. It shows through slightly sometimes which makes quite a cool effect, I think.

3. I have recently discovered that olive oil makes a great night moisturiser for my face - just a few drops and in the morning I have soft skin and no extra spots. Is there no end to the wonders of olive oil? From the OCM (oil cleansing method, get thyself to Google now) to salad dressing, it is great.

And the one that's never worked for me...

Lining the inner rim of your eyes with white eyeliner to make them look bigger/brighter. Firstly, it looks too obvious, and strange. Secondly, you can't really blend it to make it more subtle, the inner rim of your eye does not have that much space. Thirdly, it actually makes your eyes look kind of dirty by comparison. Fourthly, it's always gone weird and dribbled into my eye and aggravated my eyes so much I've had to take my contact lenses out, bathe my eye(s) and rinse the lenses. As long as I use a separate pencil for inner rim and don't use the same one I use on my eyelids (which you should do anyway), I've never had this problem with black eyeliner from the same brands. What does work is blue eyeliner on the inner rim. Again, I have to use that pencil only on the inner rim but it makes my eyes look brighter and whiter, plus it's a pretty unusual look.

Monday Amusements 4

...and I return, diving into the blogosphere and surfing across the web in general (now it occurs to me: the metaphors do not blend well, how can one surf a web?*). These are the things keeping me amused on this Monday evening.

I am learning:
Time Management for Creative People, mustering up the self-discipline to get all that I want to get done, for at least a few days each week. One day I will be 100% organised, look out world!

I am adding to my wishlists:
Books recommended by Rie of Leaving Shangri-L.A. - actually I've been doing this for the past several weeks, working my way through the archives in my spare moments, justifying it as "research for my MA". It's a fabulous combination of lifestyle and book review blog and I am going to check out most of the books suggested. I've even been reminded of some books I'd read as a child but had forgotten the names of.

I am contemplating buying: A tutu from my favourite and only local vintage/second-hand/random shop, which is closing down at the end of this month. I've already bought a new-to-me ballgown for £18, and I will probably end up blowing my "entertainment" money for the next month in there when I make further visits. It's a short, but nicely fluffy pink confection and a friend of mine already picked one up in red. I've been referring to The Cocoa Guide To Tutus and looking at lots of pictures and stores online to help me decide whether I should get it. I think I will have to try it on with some of the skirts I would wear over it to be absolutely sure.

If you are not convinced that tutus are awesome, check out the Flickr pool for The Adventures of the Travelling Tutu, it should change your mind.

I am "awww"ing over: this picture of a fawn and bobcat snuggling! I love pictures of unlikely animal friends. Like these, and most of all these!

How are you beating the start-of-the-week blues?

*Answer: one cannot surf a web, at some point you would get stuck in it - which actually makes it an appropriate metaphor - whilst "surfing" the world wide web, one will eventually find something that they are interested in and get stuck into. I am such a nerd.

Last Minute Christmas Spirit

Twas the night before Christmas

And I could no longer pretend
That it was still October
The year far from its end

If I'd been prepared I would be now in my bed
While visions of domestic bliss danced in my head
Mamma would be happy, and Papa so pleased
And the holidays would feel just like a breeze

I crept around trying not to make a clatter
I'd be embarrassed if anyone knew what was the matter
"I'm too old for this," I'd cried, "The magic is gone"
But in my heart, I knew I was wrong

I dug out my old tree; removed red and gold
The bedraggled remains from tinsel of old
Tied ribbons to the branches, draped paper underneath
I had no time to DIY a wreath

I was so hurried, I had to be quick
The thought of missing out made me quite sick
I cut paper snowflakes as I caught up on TV
For a few hours Twitter did without me

Now dashing, now dancing, prancing to the rhythm
Of free Christmas-themed music, that was a given
But I needed inspiration for my Yuletide craft
As I found it online, I happily laughed

"How silly I was, to believe it couldn't be done,
The season isn't over, and now I have won
My quick and cheap decorations cheerfully adorn my room
I have cleared away all my pre-Xmas gloom!"

It could be Christmas morning. Or the night before. Afternoon of. Boxing Day. Do not despair, you can still get into the Christmas spirit before it is too late. I speak from personal experience here.

Put Some Music On

Do it, right now. I recommend The Best Christmas Album In The World...Ever! but if you can't bring yourself to embrace the cheese and/or it's too late to obtain a copy of said CD, independent music is here for you. Filthy Little Angels have just made their most recent Xmas-themed compilation available to download, check it out here. They have been releasing a Xmas-themed free album every year for a while and you can find all the others, plus more non-seasonal music on this page. If that's not to your taste, look around, ask your friends, or don't bother with theming it, just turn up something you like so that you can boogie around and get in a celebratory mood.

Get Costumed

Wearing red and green together usually makes one look like one is celebrating Xmas, no matter what the time of year. Embrace this fact, dress up, then check yo' fine self out in mirrors as often as possible. If you don't own red and green clothing, try silver or at least grey instead. Get out those fairy wings, or make them now. Draw holly, Christmas pudding or present boxes on your face with eyeliner. Glitter is an absolute must.

Decorate

This is so easy. First, keep your music on or find yourself some Christmas telly to watch. I recommend that socalist masterpiece Mrs. Santa Claus (she helps child labourers and joins the women's suffrage movement! Brilliant!). Next get a pile of magazines. You don't have a pile of magazines? Junk mail will do, ditto newspapers, old wrapping paper, any kind of paper, but try to recycle, and printed matter will look more interesting. Cut out lots of circles of varying sizes, and then make paper snowflakes from them. Don't remember how to do it? Papersnowflakes.com has more information on them than you can shake a candy cane at. I blue-tacked mine on the corners of my bookshelf and on my mirrors, but try attaching them to banisters and sprinkling them over tables - they'd look especially nice over a plain tablecloth. You can make other shapes as well, and if you like paper chain tutorials are all over the internet, but I find the snowflakes more fun and more modern looking than traditional paper chains. Perhaps you could make a snowflake-chain!

If you have any tinsel, find something unexpected to wrap it around. Get out a tree if you've got one and decorate - failing that bring in a dry log and cover it with glitter and surround it with candles for a centre piece. You can even just tie bundles of twigs together with ribbon and hang them about. I have a mini plastic tree, which surprisingly requires some imagination to decorate - most decorations are too small. This year I tied on some blue ribbons that I saved from crackers last year, sprinkled on some bits of tinsel, wrapped a piece of lilac velvet around it, and topped it off with some butterfly hair clips I bought as a teenager. It makes the perfect fairytale tree.

A snowflake made from a ancient supermarket magazine (the chain no longer exists!) adorns my bookshelves. Tree wouldn't photograph well...will try again tomorrow!

Find A Reason

A reason to appreciate the holiday. If you're not religious, research the secular traditions of the season. Think of it as laughing in the face of the credit crunch, or as embracing your inner child. Or both at the same time. Maybe you can find joy in the fact that Xmas means a Doctor Who special, and/or in the excuse to eat parsnips - I certainly do. Only engage in this serious thinking after you have done the previous three things - it will be easier if you've already cheered yourself up. If you sit down to muse on the meaning of Christmas to you without already being a little bit excited, it'll be harder to get enthusiastic. Fake it til you make it, baby!

My sister's guitar gets into the spirit, and the card I made her sits beside it

Make Cards

Even if you don't actually use these 'til next year, it's still a fun activity. My sister and I made each other cards, here is mine. It's inspired by a tutorial in the e-book Stunning and Simple Seasonal Salutations: 10 Holiday Cards in Ten Steps or Less, which you can download for free, thanks to the lovely peeps at Artella.

Featuring 10 beautiful handmade cards, complete with photos and descriptive "how-to" instructions, showcasing a variety of techniques such as rubber stamping, collage, and innovative paper and mixed media arts. Download your copy here!

Make Gifts

Okay, so it's too late to make it to the shops, which leaves you with few options:
1. Gift certificates that can be e-mailed to the person
2. Make something

The first option you should be able to manage by yourself! A great collection of tutorials to help you craft Xmas gifts can be found at Sew, Mama, Sew! Here is the Handmade Holidays 2008 list.

But let's take a moment to be realistic. What can you make that is cheap, relatively quick, and created from, erm, ingredients that you actually have in your home? That's right. Food. Biscuits and cakes in particular. Check the contents of your cupboard, and return to the internet to get recipes.

If you have any spare notebooks, decorate them for emergency gifts, or offer your practical skills as presents, you can easily design and print or hand decorate vouchers for your own services. Bargain Queen Meg has more ideas.

Make Drinks

You in the mood yet? If so, great, top off the cheer with an appropriate tipple or two. If not, this should do the trick!

I love mulled wine. This is Delia's version, which I'm sure works very well, but personally I like to be a bit more experimental. Basically simmer for at least 20 minutes (I do it for longer so that I can taste-check) a combination of the following things: red wine, cinnamon (stick or ground), mixed spice, nutmeg, cloves, apple juice, orange juice, lemon juice, bits of the fruit instead of/as well as the juice. You can put water in as well if you want it to go further, and sugar if you like it sweet. I like to taste it as I go and add extra bits of anything I feel doesn't have a strong enough presence. You can top up the alcohol after it's done with gin or fruit liqueur, or alternatively you can use cranberry juice instead of red wine for a alcohol-free version. Or use cranberry juice and then add other alcohol once it's heated. But one of the greatest things about mulled wine is that you can use the most hideous 3 for £10 wine and simply add plenty of juice to water down the strong taste of cheap!

"The cards are made, and given away,
I think I deserve some mulled wine today"
Merrily I cried, after sampling this delight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."